MORE GREAT QUOTES: -

Have no idea who said these but they are good for a laugh...

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well it really chilled her mood.

It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course,
there's shipping and handling, too.

A husband is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the
impression he just cleaned the whole house.

My next house will have no kitchen---just vending machines and a large
trash can.

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an
uncle or an aunt."

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

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