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One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven. She removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, 'Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!' At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs! Yep..................SHE'S BLONDE!

#130
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Mar 29, 2010 07:30 AM - Funny True Stories - by Ruben

During WW II a British fighter pilot was shot down over Germany and he was captured by the Nazis. He was hurt pretty bad, so the German doctor amputated his left arm. He requested that they drop his arm over his base in England. So the Germans did. The next week they amputated his other arm and he asked the same thing. The Germans complied. The next week they amputated one of his legs, and he again asked for them to drop it over his base in England. The German doctor replied, "Sorry, we do dis no more!" The pilot asked why not, and the German answered, "we think you trying to escape!"

#304
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Jun 3, 2010 03:56 PM - Stupidity - by Dykes

A warning to all Grandmas... be careful what you say... Little Stevie was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when two people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?" She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling." Little Stevie just said, "Oh, OK." and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called bunk beds! -- and Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you!!"

#131
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Mar 29, 2010 07:33 AM - Romantic Jokes - by Ruben

It was their fifth anniversary, and Al and Alice had just returned from the movies. Alice was feeling romantic. 'Will you love me when my hair has turned to silver?' she crooned. 'Why not?' Al grunted. 'Didn't I love you through four other shades?'

#41
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Feb 10, 2010 10:03 PM - Romantic Jokes - by carl

One morning a blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can`t figure out how to start it." Her friend asks, "What is it a puzzle of?" The blonde says, "From the picture on the box, it`s a tiger." The friend figures he`s pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She let him in and shows him to the table where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a minute, then studies the box. He then turns to her and says, "First, no matter what I do, I`m not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger." "Second, I`d advise you to have a cup of coffee and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box!

#219
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Apr 21, 2010 08:07 AM - Blonde Jokes - by Ramiro

At the end of his Speech, He left his Audience open mouthed - they all yawn the same time.

#180
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Apr 8, 2010 09:37 AM - Short Jokes - by John

Funny Jack and Jill joke!

#84
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Mar 26, 2010 05:27 AM - Funny Jokes - by Maxim

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

#27
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Feb 10, 2010 09:35 PM - Men Jokes - by stacy

A worried father confronted his daughter one night. "I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it." "Oh no, Daddy," the daughter replied, "Fred's ever so clever, we've only been going out nine weeks and he's cured me of that illness I used to get once a month."

#132
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Mar 29, 2010 07:37 AM - Women Jokes - by Ruben

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no." The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

#258
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May 8, 2010 08:21 AM - Lawyer Jokes - by Jadiel

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