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Category: kids jokes

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Dear Kids, There is no Santa. The presents are from your parents. Love, Wikileaks

#491
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Dec 23, 2010 07:46 PM - Kids Jokes - by Santa

They say children say the darndest things. Well what about dunce students sitting their G.C.S.E (UK) exams (similar to SAT)? These are allegedly answers that were actually given in school exams. Enjoy and choose your favorite. Q: What is artificial insemination? A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky. Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election. Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. Q: What is the most common form of birth control? A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome. Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor. Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

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Sep 29, 2010 08:54 AM - Kids Jokes - by Sally P

The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Little Irving got up to read his. "Papa fell in the well last week - " he began. "Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Kroop, the teacher. "Is he all right now?" "He must be," said little Irving. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."

#336
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Aug 11, 2010 10:40 PM - Kids Jokes - by Irving

A well dressed business man was walking down the street when a little kid covered in soot said to him respectfully, "Sir, can you tell me the time?" The portly man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his coat and jacket, removed a large watch from a vest pocket, looked at it and said, "It is a quarter to three, young man." "Thanks," said the boy. "At exactly three o'clock you can kiss my ass." With that, the kid took off running, and with an angry cry, the outraged businessman started chasing him. He had not been running long when an old friend stopped him. "Why are you running like this at your age?" asked the friend. Gasping and almost incoherent with fury, the business man said, "That little brat asked me the time and when I told him it was quarter to three he told me that at exactly three, I should kiss his ass!" "So what's your hurry," said the friend. "You still have ten minutes."

#326
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Jul 26, 2010 12:29 AM - Kids Jokes - by shelley

A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me... They must be gods! A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me... I must be a god!

#267
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May 24, 2010 05:48 PM - Kids Jokes - by Jovan

Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it. Banta: Is this dog faithful ? Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.

#265
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May 11, 2010 07:11 AM - Kids Jokes - by Jovan

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."

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Apr 13, 2010 05:21 AM - Kids Jokes - by Christian

A little girl was sitting on her front porch when a policeman walked by, she was crying. He asked what was wrong. She said sir, my dad beats me almost every night.. He said "I can handle this problem right now, let,s go in the house". The little girl said "WOW are you to teach me how to play ping pong?"

#204
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Apr 12, 2010 08:48 AM - Kids Jokes - by Elijah

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