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My parents recently retired. Mom always wanted to learn to play the piano, so dad bought her a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. "Oh, we returned the piano." said My Dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet instead." "How come?" I asked. "Because," he answered, "with a clarinet, she can't sing."

#295
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Funny, juicy stuff! (1528) - Boring, no one cares (148)

May 24, 2010 05:42 PM - Funny True Stories - by Gideon

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Leaving Minnesota for Colorado, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go in the washroom. The first stall was taken so I went in the second stall. I just sat down when I hear a voice from the next stall... - "Hi there, how is it going?" Okay, I am not the type to strike conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road. I didn't know what to say so finally I say: - "Not bad..." Then the voice says: - "So, what are you doing?" I am starting to find that a bit weird, but I say: - "Well, I'm going back to Colorado..." Then I hear the person say all flustered: - "Look I'll call you back, every time I ask you a question this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me."

#214
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Apr 16, 2010 06:24 AM - Funny True Stories - by Samuel

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These are real 9-1-1 calls my dad made. Reservoir: 9-1-1 whats your emergency? Caller: yes my house was ransacked. R: what did they steal? C: nothing R: how did you find out? C: my sons room was a mess and he told me it was ransacked.

#212
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Apr 16, 2010 06:23 AM - Funny True Stories - by Samuel

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One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven. She removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, 'Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!' At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs! Yep..................SHE'S BLONDE!

#130
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Funny, juicy stuff! (652) - Boring, no one cares (309)

Mar 29, 2010 07:30 AM - Funny True Stories - by Ruben

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This morning, I went outside to scrape the inch and a half of ice off my car so I could get to the office. After 45 minutes of intense scraping, I realized that it wasn't my car.

#24
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Funny, juicy stuff! (254) - Boring, no one cares (176)

Feb 10, 2010 09:28 PM - Funny True Stories - by geek

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