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Category: romantic jokes

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At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Don't you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatic, steadfastly replied, "No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again."

#319
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Jul 14, 2010 12:23 PM - Romantic Jokes - by wiseman

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After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died." "Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

#318
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Jul 14, 2010 12:22 PM - Romantic Jokes - by blindy

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A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and calls home. She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" Shouts the doctor. "Getting a second opinion!"

#160
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Apr 2, 2010 08:03 AM - Romantic Jokes - by Aiden

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A warning to all Grandmas... be careful what you say... Little Stevie was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when two people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?" She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling." Little Stevie just said, "Oh, OK." and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called bunk beds! -- and Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you!!"

#131
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Mar 29, 2010 07:33 AM - Romantic Jokes - by Ruben

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An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."

#89
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Mar 26, 2010 06:46 AM - Romantic Jokes - by Eduardo

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

#80
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Mar 23, 2010 08:58 AM - Romantic Jokes - by Damian

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True Husband A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went on a date and spent all afternoon together. Exhausted, they didnt realise the time and suddenyl noticed it was 8 PM. The man hurried and told his lover to take his shoes and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. ‘Where have you been?’ his wife demanded. ‘I can’t lie to you,’ he replied,’I'm having an affair with my secretary. We were on a date all afternoon. ‘She looked down at his shoes and said: ‘You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!’

#79
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Mar 26, 2010 05:15 AM - Romantic Jokes - by Andrew

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My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?' 'No,'she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.' So I said,'Then I'd like to phone a friend.' And that's when the fight started...

#73
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Mar 19, 2010 08:14 AM - Romantic Jokes - by Andrew

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